Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
