I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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