dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
