He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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