"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize