she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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