She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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