I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
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