i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
