What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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