I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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