It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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