Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
