The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
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she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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