Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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