Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
