yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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