Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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