Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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