he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
How many fucks given?
0.12846
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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