its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
