I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
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There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
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It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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