You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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