..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
