Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
