I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
