Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
