There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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