Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Pappa wants mamma naked
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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