so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
