don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
