her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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