no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
