She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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