Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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