he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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