He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
