she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
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I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
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It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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