i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I have grass duct taped all over my body
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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