i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
