so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
