Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
