Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize