What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
