OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
