So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
