wat bout pragnant strippers??
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize