It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
he puts the penis in happiness.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
