There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
