if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
