It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
