I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
