I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
