It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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