Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
My bed smells like the plague
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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