New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
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Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
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SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I need to sanitize my soul.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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